If Fries Are On the Menu, That Makes It Authentic Oaxacan Cuisine
Pro tips on dining with your Mexican wife in Mexico
I rarely get accused of being a culinary gourmet. And for good reason, as my food tastes are seldom more exotic than a jar of pickles. I’m usually happy with a hearty plate of thick potato fries, and don’t bother pretending otherwise.
My wife is from Mexico City, and we visited Oaxaca over the holidays since the colonial city was on her bucket list. The city is known for its unique and exotic cuisine, and she wanted both of us to experience it. So you can imagine her delight when we sat for lunch in an “authentic” Oaxacan restaurant and I ordered a hearty plate of thick potato fries.
She shot me a look that said, “Are you serious? We come all the way to Oaxaca and all you want to eat is fries?” When I failed to respond to her look, she vocalized the sentiment so there was no room for ambiguity.
In case some of you traitorous readers are taking my wife’s side and ready to act as judge, jury and executioner in my trial for provincialism, allow me to offer a few exhibits of evidence in my defense.
Exhibit A: Fries were on the menu
To start with, I want to dispel any fanciful notion that I read through the menu, found nothing appealing, called the waiter over and barked, “I don’t want none of this Mexican grub. Give me some Freedom Fries. ‘Murica!” This is a sick misinformation campaign brought by critics out to destroy me. I had no need to say any of this, because the fries were listed right there on the menu. And even if was only put there for tacky Americans, I cannot stress with enough italics and exclamation points that it was on the menu! And if' it’s on the menu of an Oaxacan restaurant, that makes it Oaxacan cuisine. It’s an unwritten rule accepted by civilized society, like the third law of thermodynamics or the 5-second rule about dropping food on the ground. In fact, just to prove my point, I dropped a fry on the ground, picked it up after 4 seconds, stuck one end it in the side of my mouth and smiled at my wife like Groucho Marx enjoying a cigar. She stared at me silently with obvious pity.
Exhibit B: Grasshoppers are considered a delicacy in Oaxaca
Let’s suppose, just for argument’s sake, that Oaxacan cuisine does have some dishes considered more authentic to the region than diner fries. Then I would be forced to point out that one of those dishes is called “Chapulines”, which can best be described as “a basket of dry grasshoppers”. According to local legend, these crunchy critters have been consumed in the region since pre-colonial times, when they served as a source of protein for the Zapotecas. Aren’t I at least mildly curious to try them and expand my bland palate?
Yeah, that’s a hard pass. Insects are something to eat if I’m on an episode of Naked and Afraid and can’t find an In and Out. If I need protein and there’s a taco stand in the same plaza, there’s no way I’m eating bugs.
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Great post!